hmms. i've come to this point of life where i've decided where i want to take my life. hmm, makes sense? not really, i guess. you see, i've always been waiting around for things to happen....like magic? i'm getting sick of this. take love for example. i dont want to waste my time on someone who doesnt give a fcuk about me. we humans dont have problems, we create them. and i guess that saying is right. i CREATE my problems. its like, ive just realised that if i never did what i did, i'd never have ended up like this.

plus, ive decided that i will NOT shut my ear to all those criticisms because they can actually help me and mould me into someone much better than i am now. ive never been able to accept what people say about me but now i know that all these things can help me, its just that i sometimes take them to seriously.

isnt it so hurtful when you dream about a person so much that you'd want that person so much but that person doesnt even give a damn about you. when you, they dont answer? when you try to say hi or smile they are not even looking at you so you shouldnt even bother? oh when you try to start a conversation they completely ignore you and make you feel like a complete idiot? and yet, you still have this little fire burning inside of you, and that is hope. well, the fire in ME is burning out and i know i cant wait around forever. if you dont care about me, then why do I care about you? there are tons of people around and i cant just waste my time on that someone and shut everyone else around me out of my life. its true that i still think of you but i know that all these are fantasies and i have to look at life in a realistic point of view. life is too short for sulking. if i can never be good enough for you, then you probably werent worth my time. after all, everyone is imperfect and our mistakes are beautiful because we learn from them. and i guess thats the only good that came out of this, i learned something. and now i know where to go from her. i might still have a small fire of hope burning, but i will not go to my limits for you, if you're not going to do the same for me.

i have a life to lead. one that i wish you could be part of. but i know that you're only be part of, MY PAST. in my mind and heart, you're still alive.

nothing can change my feelings, and i know that. but there is a thing called MOVING ON. and thats what i plan to do from now on.

at night i pray, that soon your face would fade away.